Tags
Communication, Facebook, hermit, Life, Privacy, Public, relationship, Social Media
My last post was fairly personal, but this time around, I want to talk about something I’ve been thinking about lately.
Plus I’m making up for lost blogging time!
I’m not your typical 20 something year old gal, at least when it comes to social media sites. I stubbornly protested against them all for years: it’s a procrastinator’s sinkhole; it markets our friends and interests; popularizes the mundane activities; a void of entangling narcissism, envy, and, let’s not forget, bitterness. I called them an “epic waste of time.” I said a lot back then without a filter. I still do, but I wouldn’t say I’ve mastered the secret art of tact yet. I stayed away from all the social media sites for nearly six years.
Like a girl losing her virginity, I caved and signed up for Facebook. Socially awkward, I threaded through people’s posts with no idea what it all meant. My first post was clumsy and partially experimental, i.e. I had no clue what I was doing! All I did was share a recipe and people started congratulating me on joining the world of Facebook. Who knew that it was thing? I played it off as minor, but it was actually a big deal. It changed how I connected with people. I even caught myself in the act of thinking ‘I should post this,’ instead of living in the moment.
Then as I was sitting in front of my computer screen eating a spinach turkey Panini, I found an article at Literally, Darling titled, “I was cheating on my husband—with the Internet.” I laughed at first (I can never come up with a good title), but it wasn’t until I read further. Social media had a huge effect on her and her relationship with her husband. She was connected to people 24/7. She had Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram–I literally sighed right after writing that list out, a short list compared to others. She and her husband started fighting. Despite being connected with people all the time, there was little to no communication with her husband. She didn’t have any idea just how much time she was spending to her social media platforms. She didn’t know until her husband told her. I can’t blame her. She really didn’t know. How could she?
I’ve heard and said, “it’s just Facebook,” to my family and friends. I’ve heard it said about other social media sites too. We treat it casually. Certainly being unfriended is not the end of the world. No one ‘liked’ your profile pic. Blocked? Now that’s merciless. We act like we shouldn’t take it seriously, but if you’re spending most of your time creeping on that guy from work, scrolling through your friend’s photos of her trip to Florida, checking updates less than ten minutes later, or posting your latest Starbucks conquest, chances are it means something to you–or you have no soul. My condolences.
Social media is not just on the net these days. Their logos are glued to glass doors of restaurants. Newscasters encourage us to follow their channels. Our fancy phones make it even easier too. We know we’re not taking our phones with us to the restroom because we’re expecting a phone call (at least, I hope not.)
Social media has absorbed most of our attention. We stay connected all the time.We have to be in the know about everything, but as we feverishly check and post on our social media sites, did we miss something? What should be private and what should be shared? We’re living in a surveillance society where most of what we do is being monitored, which has generated a lot of talk as to who and what should have access to our information. More dialogue is to come.
Today my relationship with social media is best described as a love-and-hate relationship. I have my Facebook, a Twitter (though I never use it), an Instagram (again, I never use), and Tumblr (funny pics), but anyone who knows me will tell you, I’m not very active on these sites. I don’t creep often. I will once in a while post something, but I’m careful about what I share. I love my privacy and keep certain things to myself. Once in a while, I go on social media hiatuses and live off the grid for a bit. That’s just who I am. It’s hard for me to understand broadcasting your life to everyone, but I’m certainly interested in the discussion it generates.
As always, feel free to comment and share your thoughts.
Here is the article in case anyone wants to read her story.
http://www.literallydarling.com/blog/2013/11/14/cheating-husband-internet/#disqus_thread